Episode 0017: Basic Training Scaries: Unhinged Tales and The Peanut Butter Man

Ever wondered what kind of insanity unfolds during basic training? Strap in for a rollercoaster of wild tales that'll have you second-guessing reality. I'm pulling back the military curtain to reveal everything from trainees' extreme measures to dodge duty to the outrageous hijinks within the barracks. Picture this: a desperate soul attempting to break their own leg for an exit ticket, the infamous "serial sh*tter" causing chaos, and a drill sergeant's rage that rivals the Hulk. And let's not forget the legendary "peanut butter man" myth—trust me, you'll want to stick around to hear if that one's actually true.

As we march into the world of transitions, the conversation shifts to the crucial steps from service member to civilian powerhouse. What does it take to carve out a successful business path after the uniform comes off? Find out as we sit down with veterans who've battled the entrepreneurial frontlines, sharing their victories and insights. Plus, there's a chance you could snag a win in our latest giveaway—just for tuning in and sharing your own outrageous basic training experiences. So, light up a vape (metaphorically speaking, of course), munch on some overpriced snacks, and tune in for an episode that's anything but basic.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:14

3, 2, 1. Good morning y'all. Welcome back to the Joe Show. This is your first time here. Welcome to the show for everyone returning. Thanks y'all for tuning in. Thanks y'all for staying up with us. You're keeping the show going, sharing us. We did fall out of the top 10 in a couple countries we were in. We still are in the top 50 of all podcasts worldwide. So I do appreciate y'all for that and I hope we can keep this going.

Speaker 1: 0:40

As you know, last episode we talked about next week, we're going to be doing another giveaway. It's based on the poll that you guys vote on. So if you guys want a Visa gift card, food gift card, depending on where you are if you're in near military base, obviously you'll get different ones because it places out different food that they like or some merch and apparel. You got to vote in the polls and the shows and let me know what y'all think. So today's episode so Friday, we talked about the basic training, basics and coming into it. Today we're going to talk about the WTF moments that are going to be stories. You hear stories, you read and some real out of pocket things that I didn't even think could be true. But I shit you not, they are true. So when you, when we talked about showing up to reception at 30th AG 30th AG, you're going to find the most people try to break their legs say they're a felony, they're going to, they're going to try everything in their power to not go through to show up at basic training. An example when I was there, somebody jumped off the stairs, missed their landing, so they only wanted to break their leg. They ended up actually falling over the railing, cracking their head into the wall and they unfortunately ended up dying. Very unfortunate, that sucks, but that is something that happened.

Speaker 1: 2:03

We had another dude. He he was what you call a serial shitter. So when we were at a couple of places that you go through like there's the, the AG processing building, then there's the adjunct defect and then there's the Barrett and all three buildings someone shit on the floor. And then later that night we had a dude Shit in the shower but he didn't waffle, stop it through the drain. So we ended up finding out who it was and we're like yo, you are disgusting. And he was deemed the serial shitter. That got him just kicked out right from there off the rip and that dude should have just never fucking been there. That was. That was gross. There was somebody who Tried fighting a drill sergeant. He got charged with assault. I don't know what happened with that.

Speaker 1: 2:54

Then there was, there was a you know, you get your your handful dozen that try to say they couldn't commit suicide. They have to be on suicide watch for 24 hours and then they tell him we either put up or shut up or get out whatever and that's just the end of the day. I don't, I don't think it's good, I don't think it's bad, but like I think some of it's kind of kind of fake To. To be honest, I'm not a professional, I'm not a psychologist. I'm just telling you what I saw, okay, going forward, that when you get to your your first 72 hours, you're gonna have guys just straight off the rip say I quit and they pull IRT refused to train or RTT refused to train. You're probably gonna have, I think in my, in my company, wait, about 20% of the company off off the rip say I refuse to train and then the battalion as a whole had a couple hundred guys that just all round up together every day and be like, yeah, I refuse to train of getting out, refuse the train of getting out, and that that is just Crazing to me, that you don't even try the first day to see if you can hack it. You just be like, damn, I failed to run or a push up, I'm done. Like that's it. Don't, don't be that guy that quits off. Like don't be the guy that quits first day, showing up that that is weak as hell. Okay, you will be. Okay, you'll make it right.

Speaker 1: 4:11

You'll have guys later on, though, who Will refuse to train, and that's usually because something happened at home or there's stuff going on their personal life that they just weren't ready for, which it sucks. Some of them are actually legit. And then the happening we had a guy lost both his parents in a car accident, so he's like, yeah, I'm gonna get now. We had another guy. He got, so he was cool as wife found his wife was cheating on him and then she was taking him for custody X, y and Z because not gonna be home workers in the army. You got out because of that. I. I Understand certain situations like that happen, and I understand that life maybe Isn't gonna be able to work because you have to make these sacrifices. Okay, it, it does suck. It is a shitty situation and especially like the amount of if you're going through it's mentally, emotionally, personally, physically While going through those first 72 hours and going through those first couple weeks, I get it. I really, I really do understand for some of those guys. There's other guys.

Speaker 1: 5:14

I was just Piece of this shit, essentially just pieces of shit, and how they make it to the unit sometimes I don't know wild stories that I know that have happened is you're gonna hear this every time at 30th AG. Is that there's the peanut butter man, that Allegedly there's some drill sergeant who rapes trainees with peanut butter. Let's see, I was in base training two years ago to you know, three, three, three and a half some years ago. Right, I'm gonna tell you right now that drill is probably not there, even if that was real. And then when you hear that there's some drill doing that, it's just a bunch of bullshit, pnn Getting talked about. That ain't real, it's not right, it's not happening. Like, firstly, drills do like two, two years, they do like eight cycles and then they're off the trails what they call it, and they go back to somewhere and do their thing. So if a drill did that one, he's not there anymore. Whether longevity or ethically he's not gonna be there. Yeah, I don't. Okay, I'm not saying it never happened. I don't know personally if it happened, but that's just some wild shit to say and then just make everyone think that, like Y'all are crazy.

Speaker 1: 6:19

What I did see, though, was these were some things I did see. I saw guys Selling candy for blowjobs. You know, I'm I don't care if you get straight or whatnot, but like you, really selling candy For a blowjob, that is definitely cheaper than craigslist, backpage, the corner and whatever else you could probably find out in the world. That's probably cheaper than some only fans, depending if you had an MRE, but that is. That's crazy. That was. That was a crazy sight to see.

Speaker 1: 6:51

Another one was guys would take hand sanitizer, and I remember this was so bad. They would take hand sanitizer, put salt in the hand sanitizer so it neutralizes it, and then they would drink it, and as they're drinking it, you know it essentially is alcohol and makes you drunk. But four guys ended up being hospitalized because they drank too much of it, and they kept doing it consistently. So then, after they ended up in the hospital, two of those dudes ended up keep drink, ended up keep drinking it, and they Basically got kicked out after, I think after the second time. But the other two Got, like, their pay taken. We're getting left right, this, that, but at least they didn't do anything stupid like that. Again they were there taking the punishment that took the ass kicking, which which good on them.

Speaker 1: 7:36

But like, why? Why would you think to drink hand sanitizer? What stupid youtube reddit book did you read that you thought it would be a good idea to drink hand sanitizer? Like it probably even tastes good. You know, like I understand if you say a drink don't taste good, you don't want to finish it, but you just straight up drinking trash. Like you we all know hands don't. Don't sit here and bullshit me telling me Hand sanitizer looks good. No, that's, that's stupid. Okay, another thing, like with the breaking bone shit you had.

Speaker 1: 8:07

I remember there was a dude who just took a sheet Around his head and in a comforter, so like it was biggest hell. Like he just wrapped his head, looking like it's coffee. He's like, hmm, drills are I want to die and I want to volunteer to quit and the drill started. It's like why. He's like, well, I didn't get my bonus today and uh, yeah, it looks like I'm trying to hang myself. You know I'm not going to hang myself, but that's just how I want to quit. I just I was so mind blown that someone thought that you could just wrap a blanket around your head and say, yeah, I'm not gonna hang myself, but you think that's gonna get you kicked out.

Speaker 1: 8:42

That dude was there. So I had to do 22 weeks. I got was there for 14 weeks. We had to watch him. We had to do suicide watch on him. We had to sit there and make sure he had food. We had to make sure he had a place to sleep. Like that was Hot garbage and awful it was. It was terrible. I'm sorry that the drills did make it pretty cool.

Speaker 1: 9:03

When they're like, yeah, just don't be a Johnson, you know that's you kind of get made an example of after you try to do some shit like that, I think that's kind of mentally draining on a person. But I understand the prep is behind it and it it made sense. I really don't feel bad for Johnson and for those of you know who Johnson is, you know what I'm talking about. I don't think any of us feel bad, which I know a lot of. You are coming up on your reenlistments. So good luck to your real enlistment window. Good luck to your PCS window coming up. Just a hindsight on that Make sure you file your DTS. That shit is trash. I think we talked about that in a couple episodes before this. But back to the basic training.

Speaker 1: 9:37

So what do you do on Sand Hill to get around and figure your way out? Well, you got a couple options. You could go to the rec center and get the NWR coins and order an Uber from there, because they got PlayStation and they got. Well, there's plenty. Is that the video games you have to pay per hour for as much as you're on there? And then they got a subway, a pizza shop in there, a movie theater in there, HelloTV's called Mug Studios. They got a library in there and that's kind of like a chill spot. Honestly, it's very rare you actually get to use it or even go in there. I saw other Britannians do like we'd always like rock pass and be like huh, must be nice. You had other people that would catch an Uber from there on the backside and they would get changed clothes. That way you can always just swap out your clothes and then no, no.

Speaker 1: 10:31

The other thing we saw happen a lot was. There was this Chinese lady who would bring Chinese food and the Chinese food was so good, so good. She got banned from coming up for a banning because she was also acting as a prostitute for all the dudes in the barracks. We had a guy get kicked out because he he got caught paying her $250 and smashing just right right out front in front of everybody and we're like you know, you're going to driven somewhere. At least that way, no one would have known that it happened.

Speaker 1: 11:08

Like, come on, man, if you had vapes, you'd always just say like there was like a soda, joke, whatever, and you just say the flavor you want. She bring the vapes. They were going for like 40, 40 bucks a pop, 50 bucks a pop on a vape, which was this is a bad one. Vapes were like $9. Like it wasn't, it wasn't that deep, but now it's like 20 bucks, a thing which is anything is crazy. But yeah, she would sell vapes. She would sell soda snacks, candy, which then that's how that one guy was selling candy for blow jobs. He's like where'd you get it? Oh, I bought it from the Chinese lady, which was wild.

Speaker 1: 11:42

They had a whole investigation and try to purposely set her up. They had guys try to sneak in dominoes, eat it in a dumpster, eat Oreos in a dumpster and have to tell like when they got caught eating in the dumpster they had to come back and they had to call their parents Like, yeah, all my friends died because I failed the mission and I was irresponsible, etc. And I'm like this is corny, like it's funny now that we look at it. But they were like that was the most demoralizing thing I ever had to do and I'm like like, do you mean, I thought the show was pretty funny.

Speaker 1: 12:14

Then you had someone got thrown out of a window by a drill sergeant. There's two stories behind it. One is saying that the drill sergeant didn't like the dude and wanted to throw him out. Another one saying that for safety, the drug grabbed him and he accidentally fell over the rallying. So when I look at that, you're supposed to do, you know, drive blank, live. So, depending on the iteration, I mean I don't know there's a lot of questions with that one. I am very just indifferent that. I think that actually happened. It was like one if he has loaded rounds and you're grabbing the whole body, his finger could react, trigger and be firing off multiple rounds.

Speaker 1: 12:50

I don't think that's the Safest thing to do. I also don't think that it just really, really just wasn't smart if he, if he touched him or not, and then also like the guy falling out, like there's no reason somebody should be falling out of a two-story building during a training exercise. That's, that's pretty stupid. You know, I'm not. I'm not saying that the drill had a good cause, and it's just. I wasn't there so I can't. I can't tell you, but this is just one of the stories that comes through and you hear about, like drill sergeants raping. Or you hear about trainees raping trainees. You hear about Battle boo, whatever, and girls just getting slapped out in a bay in front of everybody. You do.

Speaker 1: 13:33

You do hear stuff like that, which I think is pretty out of pocket and wild, which you know it. There's a definitely more tasteful thing and also like you're not there to do that. You gotta watch out, for there there will be, there's always one, always one. So like I had the serial shitter but another unit had a guy shit in socks and he would walk up to people he didn't like and just slap him in the face With a sock full of shit and then you go and smear that sock all over the bathrooms and showers and then you would have to clean it. That was Something that happened to the company that was next next to us. That that one Blew my mind. Yeah, that's pretty gross. You'll see, guys won't sleep in the bed, sleep on the floor. So we got to make their beds because it's scary to do that. Anyway, there's just some wild out-of-pocket things you're gonna see people do To get out of basic training and get out of what they do.

Speaker 1: 14:30

So, with that, if you have a crazy story that you know, you can DM me, hit me up on any of the social Platforms and tell me your crazy story and I will attach a link to that story so that people can kind of hear what you saw, because I'm sure what I saw isn't the worst thing out there. I'm sure there's definitely a worse. I really hope there isn't, but I'm sure there probably is. Don't forget to Like, subscribe, download, because that's gonna help you with the giveaway. That's gonna help you out with the giveaway.

Speaker 1: 15:01

Again, you also need to vote on if we're gonna do gift cards of t-shirts. So I hope to hear from you guys coming up. We're gonna be doing a couple interviews on transitioning, couple interviews on how to plan if you want to run a business as a veteran, and and I I'm just really look glad that I'm still doing this and that we were rocking. Hopefully we can roll out with some video episodes here soon as well. I know I talked about working on that, but I hope y'all stay and keep listening, charlie Mike.